312 days left : Club Footed Penguin

Okay so while the last two weeks have been occupied with two great vacations it is time once again to buckle down and get into my training rhythm.

Monday I did run 3 miles and I am sort of happy to announce I ran (without stopping) an entire mile for the first time ever. Yes I think I can safely say that is progress and I might be improving a little bit. This was a big accomplishment because now I know I can do it. But the sad part is now that I know I can do it I need to continue doing it.
I don’t know about you real runners but when I get out and begin to run I seem to always have this constant discussion (psycho babble) within my head. It starts like this.


“Okay I am going to run now”
“Why?”
“Ssshhh I am going to run my 3 miles because I haven’t run in 5 days”
“Why”
“Because I want to!”
“Why”
“Shut up were doing this.”
“Who you talking too? You’re crazy! You shouldn’t be in charge.”
Here we go (I begin running at this point to end the internal dialogue more than anything else)
Several steps later this conversation changes,
“O the left knee feels really crunchy today” “Maybe we should stop?”
“No”
“Ow so does the right knee” crunch crunch crunch
“No stopping”
“Owe”
“Ohh”

“Well my back seems to be holding up okay, and after a 100 yards or so my knees should warm up and I can stop running like a club footed Penguin.
Here is what I imagine I could look like whenever I think of running:

Picture the image of a runner with long graceful strides rapidly flowing down this wide open country road. The golden sun shines and the cool breeze rushes over the grasses as the runner smoothly and quietly rolls across the asphalt as if he/she was a part of nature itself.
Then what I look like:

Picture a club footed Penguin escaping the cage of a circus wagon hobbling across the burning asphalt in the middle of Death Valley. The Penguin is favoring his right leg wheezing so loud it sounds as if you were switching a Dyson vacuum on and off as fast as you can about 30 times a minute. His path is jolted and unsteady while he appears to either really drunk or very unbalanced. Occasionally his jiggly head which lolls side to side lifts to reveal a glazed over thousand yard stare and spittle drooling out the right side of his mouth. The red face and cheeks reveal how much he is not really meant to be out here on this god forsaken road. Somebody please shoot the animal and end its’ misery. Oh that’s right it is not an animal it is Nick training. No need to perform the mercy killing, he looks like it won’t be long now before he collapses.
I tried using the IPOD today and it does distract me a little so that I forget how much I hate running for short periods at a time. They are very short periods. They need to be longer.
I am surprised I was able to complete the mile and I feel really proud of it, then I remember I have to do it again in a couple days. Yuck! This makes me think I am still more CP than Triathlete.
Today (Tuesday) I joined a health club and am planning on beginning swimming two times a week starting Thursday October 1st.
I need to begin the daily Yoga practice again which is difficult because it means a 4 am wake up. Ohhh that is never easy.
I imagine one day I will be able to RUN the entire 1.5 mile loop 3 times and this will be my goal. I am signing up for my first 5K in November and I really want to run the entire thing. I want to run and look like I imagine a runner should look like. Which might seem like a silly thing to want but I don’t care I still want it.


“I want to be a lion
Everybody wants to pass as cats
We all want to be big big stars, but we got different reasons for that
Believe in me because I don't believe in anything
and I want to be someone to believe” – Counting Crows

319 days left.

I have 3 hundred an 19 days left which means I have completed 45 days of training. 45 goes into 365 eight point one one one one one (you get it) times. Ack! I really need to make more progress! As of right now I do not feel 1 eighth of the way to being a triathlete. I am in big trouble because I don’t think I have even begun the hard part. In October I will begin swimming on a regular basis. I have seen the lake and tried to imagine myself swimming across and back, hmmm not so successful with that imaginary trip. Can’t get pictures of Shark Week out of my mind. I know there are no sharks in Goss Lake but there could be an overly aggressive malevolent lake trout who might decide to taste human. If I was swimming and one of those innocently (or malevolently) touching me I will freak me out and scream like a school girl. Will they let you swim with a club? Maybe a harpoon would be easier. How about a laser beam attached to my head?

I did read my swimming book “Total Immersion” and I began training in the hotel pool last week. This consisted of really simple drills to get my “water balance” which means get the hips/legs to naturally rise up by pressing down on the sternum. I know it may not seem like a lot but it is hard. In addition to that I have to learn to breathe as I roll on my side. So far this usually involves learning to breathe with a mouth half full of water. Remind me not to practice in the kiddy pool. Despite my inexperience and struggling form I did manage to swim about 20 yards 12 times. I had to rest between each time but it is a start. Learning to swim is a serious blow to the pride and ego. What am I saying this entire experience is a serious blow to the pride and ego. It is not as if I am looking real good when I run either. Maybe I need to get to know some baseball players and get a hold of those steroids they take. I know your all saying they have bad side effects of “huge mood swings and uncontrollable anger over absolutely nothing” but hell I quit smoking cold turkey so that is nothing new to me or my wife.
Seriously after I win the Triathlon 5 minutes ahead of everyone, all hopped up and HULK like then I will deny using the steroids several dozen times until I fail a drug test or two at which time I will beg publicly for forgiveness. Then in the next several photo opps I will work at looking real sad and humble. All the while denying I am a role model but collecting huge amounts of cash to appear for 5 minutes at a sports card show primarily attended by kids. Of course I will do a couple commercials for the united way and say no to drugs. But as my baseball example points out, the usual drugs would be bad because they are drugs but sniffing glue is not “technically classified” a drug so it is okay. Baseball the great American pastime. A juiced up ballgame played by juiced up little boys who claim to be exploited by greedy owners but then exploit the advertisers with huge endorsement deals who in turn exploit the kids by charging $75.00 dollars for a jersey of their favorite player. Yeah A Rod just be honest and call yourself A Hole. That way when my kids see you as an example they can properly categorize it. Today’s baseball stars have taught today’s kids to lie and deny until your caught red handed. That’s the integrity of Baseball and that’s why Professional baseball is LAME.

Whew that was rant! Serious example of my hate ray gone wild.
Seriously that needed to get out. Who wants to carry that sort of crap around in their head. Not me, it weighs a lot and it drags me down. I gotta work on staying positive and upbeat so the thoughts in my head will be “light as a feather”. This way I will be faster in the pool, on the bike and on the road.

No need to focus on the things I can not change. Better to let all that go. Stop wailing about being “right” and just be at peace. “There is nothing to fix here.”


“Free your mind and the rest will follow”

I think I will end each of these with a musical quote that moves me at the moment or just helps me have a movement:)

Three and One

I learned a new way to induce my own agony! Yippee more aches for me! A friend who I thought was out of shape talked me into running with him and I realized a couple of things. 1. Other peoples’ “Out of Shape” is several levels above what I am currently performing at. 2. Friends shouldn’t let friends Run; it has great risk of that friend associating all the discomfort of the run with said friend who had the idea in the first place. So here I was running on this Monday morning in the beautiful woods learning how to run for 3 minutes and walk for 1 minute. Damn 3 minutes never seemed so long before. This 3 and 1 method is new to me and so as we did the third set I thought “I hope a bear or a wolf jumps out from behind a tree and rips into my leg so I can stop for awhile. Alas! This is Whidbey Island and the best I can hope for is a Rabid Northwest Mountain Squirrel. Then we get to rest again and I start to breathe normally just in time to run again. Joy Joy on the 4th set I ask myself “why is he not as tired as I am? He said he hasn’t run in a year? LIAR! He must be lying because I feel much more tired than he looks. I now hope a bear or wolf jumps out of the trees and mauls HIM. Set 5 Damn I am really out of shape or he is some freak of nature than can just magically run all day like Peter Pan can fly. I think it is more likely that I am really out of shape. Ah bliss as we end that 3 minutes of hell and begin to walk another minute. DD tells me it should get easier as we go and I BELIEVE him. Why? Because this is the 6th set and I NEED to believe it gets easier. I am in my own miserable world of hell. As we begin I try try try real hard to believe that lie (that it gets easier) but it is not working! Damn Damn Damn I hate this man in front of me if I could catch him I would choke him to death. Then he tells me there is a little hill up ahead. I can’t say the 4 letter word I was thinking as I nod at him and grunt something unintelligible (I am not sure who is drooling more me or Buttercup the dog with us). As we begin the hill I know it is not much but for me every step is more burning and tiring and I just want to fall over into the brush and let the squirrels feast on my bloated out of shape couch potato carcass. I keep climbing the hill sure that I am now drooling more than Buttercup and each foot step is about 3 inches from the last. Sometimes life is full of little defeats and this hill at this time I admit my defeat, I have to stop and walk before the top. Severely wheezing I meet my torturer at the top of the hill and he says the rest is downhill from here. I like the first word part of that, the down part; because that is all I want to do, fall down. Sit down. Alas! No such luck we continue on and DD talks about pace and I think I know my pace it is “the first part of the zero to 60”

Oh Yeah running in the woods is SO MUCH EASIER. LIARS! Running in the woods is still running!

Knee Aches

Today I am resting, I did do the stairs on Wed and today my lower legs are really really sore. Today the thought that has been in my head the most is: “I hope when this is all done that it is worth it.” I mean I walk down to the ferry (about 4-5 blocks) and I walk up from the ferry and my legs and feet hurt almost all the time. It just better be worth it. Maybe if I buy a 2nd pair of running shoes (for everyday use) that are nice and springy and comfortable my feet would feel a little better.
I visited the fitness club I am going to join in October to start swimming, pool looks nice and they offer private swim lessons so maybe I will investigate those after I join. They have a spinning class twice a week too. The price is not bad and they are close to my work (only 10 blocks away). I have talked with another friend who is willing to go swimming regularly so I have committed to October to begin swimming.
I had the strange notion as I watched these other swimmers calmly swimming laps without making much waves that MAYBE ? it is will be easy. He he he I get the same thoughts when I motivate to run. I think out of the blue “hey how great would it be to go running?” then I think “How good would I feel to be zooming down the road like a regular ____________ ? (I don’t know any modern runners names.)
The problem is I never look or feel like that great runner zooming down the road. I look more like a wounded herd animal destined for the leopards next meal.
I bet my swimming will look similar. The same wounded herd animal destined for the Alligator’s next meal.

At the least I hope that swimming will be easier on my feet.

Great Idea right on the Neck

Sunday


Rest day and I did a little Yoga (30 minutes). I watched the Namaste Yoga series on TV and Amanda yelled at me to stop turning my neck. I said “How am I supposed to see the pose without looking?” to which she responded “ If you have to turn your neck then Yoga video is not a good idea.” To which I responded “Hmph” because that’s what I say now when I can’t really win the debate. I used to say “Whatever” but now that my darling 4 year old son is looking at his parents and growling “Whatever!” I have to find a new term. Children are great little mirrors aren’t they?

Monday

Noticed my legs were not as sore today. Whats this? Could it be progress? Naa I am only imagining it. Thought I might ride the bike today but decided to run instead. I did an easy run/walk of a mile and a half because this was only two days after my “BIG” run/ walk of 3 miles . As we were driving home from Linds where they are giving out free Candy necklaces to children and I was suddenly inspired to run. A side note about Lind’s hmmm: the idea that they are giving these candy necklaces away as you leave raises some natural questions? If this idea was so great why don’t they give Candy necklaces to children as they come into the store? …. Yeah they know why! Thanks Lind’s counter lady, thanks a lot! Sugar the kid up as he gets back in my car. What happens about 30 minutes after your little act of kindness. WELL let me tell you NO better yet let me bring the kids back to your store in about 30 minutes and you can hear first hand what happens when the last Candy is gone. My wish to you for your act of kindness is : A long plane ride with screaming children sitting behind you kicking your seat the entire 6 hours.

While I was a little bent on the sabatoge by the counter lady; I am intrigued by the entire concept of Candy Necklace. I mean how AWESOME would it be to market these things for adults.

Imagine ladies for Valentines day your man brings home A Box of Sees Chocolates strung on a Necklace? Or for the guys: An entire seafood platter of DEEP FRIED goodies strung on a necklace. My personnel favorite would be…..you know what I am talking about……My personnel little jewel would be a Doughnut Necklace, imagine a necklace of Doughnuts and you could just sit there watching sports on T.V. or at the stadium with a dozen doughnuts strung around your neck. You could just lean your chin down and lick the maple bar during the commercials. Yes your clothes would suffer a little more wear and tear but think of the benefits.

I think this idea of Candy necklace has not been explored as far as it could be.

Anyway I realize now when I am driving around and the road looks inviting and I think "how nice would it be to run down this sunny country road on this nice afternoon?" I really should just ask Amanda to kick me.

Rainy day Running.

I ran/walked 3 miles today in the same 40 minutes and it did not feel any better.
I have been getting lots of good advice and it all sounds great. However none of the good advice helps my thighs or eases the sore feet. I ran in the rain for the first time and I thought it might make me feel tough or like a real runner. At first as I walked out to the road I felt like a rock star but then when I actually had to start running I only thought “My legs don’t want to do this”.
My brain still likes the idea but my brain doesn’t have to do any of the work. My lungs and my legs are the poor bastards doing the heavy lifting.
Here is what goes on in my head.
Brain “Hey lets go running early in the morning on Saturday”
Legs “What a stupid idea! Hey Lungs did ever here of such a stupid idea
Lungs “Actually yes. It was the same Brain that thought smoking for 30 years was a good idea. This one is only marginally better.”
Legs” Well for me that was easier and I have a mind to tell the pink sponge upstairs to put a cork in it” Feet chime in “Yeah us too, we ache constantly now”.
Lungs”Well smoking was not so great for me.”
Brain “Quiet all of you. If I do finish this I will feel STRONG and Positive about being one step closer to becoming a tri-athlete. I want to keep training so that other idea (becoming a Triathlete) does not appear totally misguided.”
Legs “That idea was totally misguided”
Lungs “That is true, there was very little evidence that being a Triathlete was a realistic goal.”
Feet “Yeah totally misguided!”
Brain” So what! I am running this circus and I say were doing this. We are all in it now so no turning back.”
Feet “Why not just stop”
Legs “yeah why not”
Lungs “Careful...doesn’t talk like that or you will get that stupid pink sponge to call Pride. If Pride gets involved we can all forget about any chance of stopping or any concern for our comfort level?”
Legs “True, Pride doesn’t play nice at all; he is just a dense dum dum.”
Feet “ Oh yeah I remember when pride made us walk 5 miles in dress shoes just to get home from a really stupid job that Brain got us into to begin with.
Brain” Did someone say Pride? I wonder how he has been lately I think I will give him a call…..”

In the end I learned that running in the rain is wet and wet clothes get heavy and not so comfortable. Good thing I was wearing my wick away shirt. Only thing touching me was water from the rain. The shirt wicked and wicked and no sweat remained.

Slow Starts lately

I am really struggling with getting up to do Yoga the last couple days. I just managed a couple Sun salutes this morning and that’s it. No matter how many times I get up early it never becomes easy.


I walked the stairs (1200) today and I dragged a friend along with me so I wouldn’t be the only sweaty stinky guy in the office, thanks Dan. It is easier to do when there is more people. I have been getting some advice from people more experienced and I hope these people realize how I (the unknowing) will sometimes take a piece of well intended advice and cling to it with all my hope. For example someone I won’t mention her name (V_L) said that I should feel better with the running after 3 weeks if I run 3 times a week. OKAY I will am on week two of only one day a week running so I am guessing it may take a little longer but I EXPECT to FEEL Better soon. If I don’t then I will complain a lot. I know it may seem like how is that possible? It is possible trust me .

My current plan is to run once a weekend (3 miles) then in October I am joining a athletic club so I can swim once a week. I heard another novice swim friend is up to 300 yards already and he has only been training a month or so.

Well I have decided to rest a couple days because my left knee hurts more than I think it should. Of course that describes a lot of my body parts right now.

I have noticed that coffee is really making me jittery a lot sooner than before. I think I am losing my tolerance for it. How strange is that.

Well Thursday is rest day and my feet and legs are still sore.

Catch up

Where have I been ? In my delusional Narcacistic world I imagine there are thousands of followers out there waiting on baited breath for me to post. He he he I know you people might have thought this wild ride was over. Pah! Some of you might have suspected that I had already failed and called it quits. PAH I say! It is far from over. Just ask the fools who I used to go mountain bike riding with in San Diego. I don’t learn quickly and I am willing to subject myself to hours of un-enjoyment just to say I did! On one of the hell rides Ron led us on I was suffering from sun stroke and we had riden about 10 miles and were climbing this forest service road when I had to stop. I was pushing my bike up the sixth climbing switchback of Hell cursing away with the hate ray in full effect. When this 68 yr old lady out for a little stroll passed me going up the hill. No lie she was not moving at any kind of fast pace and I was still slower, in fact I think she past me twice on that trip, because the first time my pride made me get on the bike and push ahead of her. Then on the second pass I didn’t care because I was sure I was dying. It was rides like that which made me think riding was my strength. What was I thinking? Those rides were only fun after we stopped. Of course when we got tired out there in the San Diego Canyonlands the solution was simple, crash and then you could rest. I don’t think the road bike will be as easy to pull that maneuver on.


I just had a couple distractions recently that have taken my focus over the last couple days. Here is a quick summary recap of my progress since my last post.



Wednesday I managed a mile and half run despite only being allowed to drink clear liquids per the Dr’s orders. Let me just say it was not any easier this time. I decided to take my Chocolate Lab, “Mijo” with me thinking it would be good for him to run and maybe he could pull me up the hills. Well he pulled alright but not up the hills, always wide right. It took him half the run to figure out my pace for him was a trot not a full run. I only yelled “HEAL” at him 30 times which was to the end of the first block. After that I was too winded to care and he didn’t listen anyway because he was too busy searching for a ball. That is all he does when he is not licking me saying hello or sleeping on the couch.

Thursday had a date with a Dr and everything went good so I was rewarded with a nice Bacon Burger with Cheese and a Chocolate shake from Z’s drive in on Mukilteo Speedway. I recommend it 4 stars we have been there 4-5 times and it is consistently good.

Friday did Yoga and started Daddy weekend which is why I didn’t have the energy to write at all. I was too drained from chasing my boys around all day.

Saturday I took the boys to Grandma’s house for a visit (which for them is always a fan favorite) and I ran three miles on the school track. I really don’t like running on the flat traditional track because two times around the neighborhood seems a lot less than 12 times around the track. I did it in 40 minutes and that makes my time about 13.33 minutes a mile. Much better than the previously estimated 20 minutes a mile. That was a mistake because I thought I ran only two miles in 40 minutes but really it was 3 miles.

Sunday I did Yoga with Cobi (lots of Bangheadasana) and the boys and I went on Action Packed Sunday and I was pretty tired.

Monday I did steps (1200) and in memory of my co worker Andy who is moving on to bigger and better things I sprinted up the final two sets. This time I skipped every other step to work some other muscles. That it did. Owww I really felt it later in the evening and still feel it now.
Tuesday – Nothing at all (well I walked up from the Ferry dock and I decided that I would start walking up every day which is only a 10 minute walk but every little bit helps).

I am finding myself really cravying potato chips in the evenings but I have not given in to that temptation.
I weigh 204 pounds now and I find my 36 waist pants are requiring a belt to stay up. These are a couple good side effects. The bad effects are I am constantly sore and achey all over.
Oh yeah also it is almost the start of Football so I am spending large amounts of my time doing my research before my draft.