I don't chew pretty.

If you asking how does this title and subject relate to my transformation then all I can say is they both come from the warm dark places in my mind.  I would guess the extra soft spots.
I was thinking on the train the other day about self realization. These transformation from Couch Potato to Triathlete have brought to my mind many self realizaions.
Things like, "I can run more than a mile!" ; "I can swim 10 laps in the pool!"
"I can get shin splints!", "I can make my nipples bleed!",
"I can run for two and half hours straight!" "I can swim across the lake!"
"I can chafe my crotch so bad I walk like a cowboy!"
"I can ride the Saratoga hill, twice!", "I can learn to run and swim!"

One of my first self realizations I can remember is when I became honest with myself  about what I look like when I chew gum. The cold direct self honesty of admitting "I don't chew pretty" and I wish I could was a freeing experience.
So when you are chawing on a peice of gum and you think you look like the "Ice Man" in Top Gun all cool and sure of yourself; but in reality you look like a crotchety old grandpa with some over done pot roast stuck in his dentures. That is the part of self realizing that is not so fun.
Damn I really wanted to look cool doing that! Okay, so I am not ever gonna look cool doing that.
Another form of self realizing is when you go for a run on the beach for 5 miles and admit that is was sort of "eh, not all that".
"I actually prefer running the trails in the woods somewhere". Saturday we were on vacation on the Oregon coast and so I went out for an hour run on the pristine beach. The setting doesn't get much closer to picture perfect (well with a reduction of the 20 mile hour head wind it would be perfect). Sun is out with a BREEZE (15 - 20 mph) at my back, the emerald ocean waves breaking on my right, two story sand dunes on my left and no one but the tampax lady running at me. I (dodge Ms. T. with my swim move) and begin my run staying on the hard packed sand because I am not trying to regain my heavy weight title. I am not Rocky and I don't have an Apollo creed to help me get back my eye of the tiger. Anyway I am running and while it is kind of nice to have a completely flat path with no visible obstructions as far as the eye can see it is also sort of boring. I sort of feel like I should be going "Ah" or having some magical self realization as I run this beatiful beach. "Nope" didn't happen for me. All I got was an up close and personnel visit from some ones great Dane.
Nothing like a big wet slobbery Great Dane lopping towards you with no where to run to help facilitate self realizations.
I did appreciate being alive after the great dane mouthed me a little and decided I was not his chew toy. His owner smiled and says "He doesn't bite". I thought to myself "Great. Does he Trample?" Those dogs are big and if the just wanted to jump and play over the top of you for a while you would feel it the next day.
So I realized I prefer running in the trails of the woods over running on the picturesque beach. As I turned around and ran into the BREEZE I appreciated it more and more. It was hard to tell how hard I was working becuase all the sweat just blew away and it seemed like I was barely moving across the picture. I did enjoy the run but not as much as I expected too.
I think I also realize I don't run pretty either. Some runners look all natural and effortless and smooth as the cruise down the road, trail, or beach, and then there are others who...well not so much. I belong to the not so much group. I think it is safe to say most people would probably categorize me as "He don't bike pretty or swim pretty either". At least not as smooth and cool as I think I look when I am doing these things. That's okay if in my internal camera inside my head I look cooler or sleeker or faster than I actually am.

It just might be that self delusion of how I think I look that keeps me going long enough to finish. So in my head watching me for you is like watching Michael Phelps transform into Lance Armstrong into the Usain Bolt,(You know the olympic sprinter)  well I don't know any famous distance runners (note to self: examine this concept more later).
Some self delusion is good for the soul. It may be that self deulsion is all we have left to hold onto when we are out there trying to swim across a lake or peddle up the final hill or run the last mile.
Self delusion has been used many times for the positive in the history of me and the history of everybody.
Self delusion may be just the concept that we all depend upon to complete these crazy transformations. Start with a large mouth, insert leg, chew vigorously for 9 minutes or until soft. Add a couple pinches of Self realization mixed with two cupfulls of self delusion and a pound of desire. Simmer on med high for 364 days. Remove from heat, garnish with a wetsuit, swim cap, a road bike and some colorfull running shoe laces.
It may be that Batman is just a man with an over active sense of self delusion.
Don't judege me if I am wearing a Batman cape and Superman under roos on race day.  Just smile and nod your head in understanding that I am out smarting myself.

Today's song is "The Grand Illusion" by Styx

Welcome to the Grand illusion

Come on in and see what's happening

Pay the price, get your tickets for the show
The stage is set, the band starts playing
Suddenly your heart is pounding
Wishing secretly you were a star.
But don't be fooled by the radio
The TV or the magazines
They show you photographs of how your life should be
But they're just someone else's fantasy

So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because you never win the game
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...
So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because your neighbors got it made
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...
America spells competition, join us in our blind ambition
Get yourself a brand new motor car
Someday soon we'll stop to ponder what on Earth's this spell we're under
We made the grade and still we wonder who the hell we are.

Oh! No I'm Not.

This morning I was up at 5:00 and drove to Goss Lake and started my bike ride of the Tri loop. It was a very nice morning and I felt good even thru the first climb. The Saratoga hill known as "the beast" was still a punch in the chest but I stayed on the bike and slowly p - e -d -d -l -e -d to the top. Thenbe's  when I was rounding the church I slipped behind a pack of real bike riders. This is where I answered the question of are you a cyclist. The ugly truth is Oh No I am Not. As I tried to stay with them focusing on how effortlessly and rapidly they were spinning their legs I knew I still have work to do. A lot of work to do in this sport. I had them in sight for about a half mile to a mile and then I lost them on the down hill. after turning on Andreason I did catch sight of them and I passed them at Goss Lake rd. They stopped due to one persons mechanical difficulty and thankfully I went straight. I can tell I am not yet a cyclist because I still peddal instead of spin and that is enough to seperate the real vs the wanna be's

Biking is my weakest at this time and I am okay with that. I will probably not get it dialed in before the race and I am okay with that. I finished the ride which on my catseye was 18 miles (twice around the loop and back to Goss Lake) in one hour and thirty minutes. This was slower than Amanda and my ride when I first did this route.

Next up was my swim and this was the first time I swam by myself. That was a little freaky and I had some head games going on for the first part of it. I would say I did however learn that if I counted strokes I could give my imagination a break while my logical side worked and thus be less freaked out.
As I have these ridiculous and yet vivid fear of dead people coming up out of the lake to grab me and drag me to a watery death I am reminded of the insanity of it. It reminds me of how I was on my honeymoon in Hawaii snorkling when I saw a sea turtle swimming away from me and paniced and swam away fast as I could. I have always been as scarred as a little school girl in the water.
So in order to stop my insane fears I am taking a two pronged approach. 1. think happy thoughts and 2. count my strokes which is more effective.
I also think I need to get in the lake more often to familiarize myself with the surroundings. Just keep going back like a glutten for punishment. Well the swim or atleast the last 15 minutes was a nice swim and the water was surprisingly warm.

So feeling like a super hero having completed all this befoe 8:00 am I decided to take it a little farther and see if my body could hold up enough to do a 4 mile run in the afternoon. YOu know what? Not only did it hold up but I ran 4 miles in 38.21 minutes which is the best I can remember. I now know I can do all 3 events in one day and survive.

That is a big boost of confidence for this ex couch potato.
I am feeling more and more confident about this Triathlon and getting excited to put my best effort on the line.

So following that on Sunday I rested.
Monday I did a mile swim and that felt good. The pool is differnet than the lake and I need to try to lake route without stopping and count my strokes so I have an idea on how often I need to sight. In my head I have this idea that I should be sighting about once every 50 strokes so I want to test that theory. I need to remember that wanting to go fast and trying hard is forcing it with swimming. Relaxed efficient movement that might feel slower is actually faster swimming.
Tuesday I did the spin bike for 60 minutes followed by a 10 minute run to let my legs experience the transition. A stationary bike is easier than actually riding a bike.
Wednesday I ran 5 miles along the waterfront of Seattle. The minimalistic shoes I wear (Nike Free 3.0) make running on Concrete even more tiring on the feet. Looking forward to trying some running on the beach soon.

Today's song is dedicated to my "voice of self doubt"
Tom Petty "Don't Come around here no more"
Give it up stop.

6am in Deer Lake

So Tuesday I rested and Wednesday I had a crappy swim workout. By crappy I mean I didn't feel like my muscles remembered how to do anything write and my breathing was distracting. All of the body parts were moving on their own so I had no rythm.

This morning I went out to Deer Lake for a swim with the Masters swimmers who are all welcoming and nice people. My instructions were just to shop up at this driveway at 6:00am and stay to the right. So I did and I met Krista and Jeff. If you want to be a masters swimmer then your should name yourself Kristin or Krista or Christina or some variant. No one confirmed this but I think it makes you more boyant. Maybe I will change my name to Chris? Naw to late in life for that.

Anyway change into the wet suits and you could not ask for a more beautiful morning, calm lake with the sun coming up just over the trees. About 60 degrees and no wind. I get my intructions to swim across the lake to the yellow house just left of the sun. Krista points out the two other swimmers already out there and reminds me to keep an eye out for each other. I hear the instruction but I am not really sure what to do with it? As we head out about 150 yards off the shore I am quickly out paced and on my own.
I think this is freaking me out this morning "I should just go back and try again another day."
No I will stay. No I will probably drown and they can tell me wife what happened. NO stop. Just relax and you can't drown in a wet suit.
Stop thinking about sharks and Jason from Friday the 13th. Just focus on your stroke and pushing your armpits down on each glide. Focus on swimming from the core and  letting your head swivel on its axis.
Okay back to relaxed swimming.
Trying to sight the house from the water level all I can see is the Sun and it is HUGE and bright.
Swimming in the open water is amazing and wonderful but I get these minor panic moments where I say "You don't belong out here" or "You are in the middle of a Lake." Then I have to talk myself down of the panic ledge. On the swim into the sun I had to do that about 6 times. The foriegnness of this water and the newness of swimming across lakes and with no one to watch over me together all add to my anxiety.
The masters swimmers are sort of watching, at least enough to tell Amanda "we stopped seeing him somewhere over there". That is not going to happen that is just stupid talk in my head/
I started counting my strokes and I found this is another way I can stop "freaking out". I managed to get past the pointing of wanting to turn back, past the point of wanting to scream out help help for no reason. I am in a wet suit for pete's sake. My panic sense doesn't care that I don't sink at all in a wet suit. My panic sense just wants to panic.
I make it to the far side to the dock at Krista's parents house (see note on names above) and now we head back. On the way back I focus on my form and count my strokes and try not to think about how far it is. I did better on the way back and I did learn that my tendancy is to swim "Wide Right" which is a good thing to know about yourself. I only had about 3 small panic moments (and those were minor ones) on the way back which is an improvement.
Climbing out of the water I am happy to have completed a mile swim before 7:00am and to have completed my first swim in Deer Lake. I think it will get better and easier as I get more used to open water. I intend on going every Thursday morning for July and maybe into August.

The race is getting closer we are at 30 days now. 30 days of training left and then we test out all this work.

Goals
1. Remain injury free.
2. Complete the Triathalon
3. Shooting for 20 minute swim, 60 minute Bike and 40 minute run.

Song for the day is "Oh Happy Day" and "When Dove's Cry" as seen on the Romeo and Juliet Soundtrack. I like that acapala style of singing. Good Acapala rocks. A band called NOTA is my favorite.

"Just to see"

It was a solid training weekend being a holiday weekend and very busy busy busy. Saturday Aunt Katie watched the kids so Amanda and Scott went running with me. We met at the Saratoga entrance and it was an hour run in the woods (5-6 miles) followed by a 15 Kilometer bike ride. I am using Kilometers because the cool gadget on my bike that list how far I have come is only in kilometers.


Being the smart guy that I am I threw out the instructions (instructions? who needs instructions) so now I can't figure out how to switch it to miles. I am remembering now that I am not so much the smart guy as much as the smart-ass guy. Doh! Anyway if you want to convert it to miles it's like multiply it by .6. That is more math stuff, that us smartass guys usually leave to the smart guys when we can. It's not that I can't do math in my head, I could. It is more that I am saving my brain pathways that would be doing that for more important stuff that might be coming soon. I am a planner, and I plan on using my brain later. So I have plenty of free pathways without traffic jams.

On Sunday the 4th it was too busy to get any exercise in, unless I count the 45 times little man rode his bike up and down shore ave. My 4 year old, well I have two now so I better clarify. My youngest or newest 4 year old is totally in love with his new bike. So in love with it he rides down the street mumbling or whispering" me love my new bike" or "me love my blue bike" it is hard to tell. If you have ever seen the sitcom "on ABC called "The Middle" he reminds me of brick the youngest son when he repeats himself. I think he is trying to put more milage on that thing than most Tour De France racers do. He went for a ride with me and then with his cousin Ally and then his cousin Brian and then his Uncle Andrew and then with Grandma and then his mom and then back to Daddy some more. He would probably still be riding if we had let him.



So Monday (thanks to more family babysitting) we swam Goss the lake at the coldest part of the day. This was not suppossed to be a "just to see" what it would be like to walk around with numb feet for awhile. This was a make the most of having a babysitter. That is why we had to swim without waiting to see if the day would get better. Or in my case to for a mile in 30 minutes and then ran the 4 miles of what will be the tri's running course. Amanda and talked about what a benefit we normnally get because we usually run a 5 mile loop by our house. Our loop includes either a half mile horrible hill called Heggenes Hill or a long slow mile climb on Dear Lake road. The Triathlon course is a lot easier because after you get off the bike and up the first hill it is either level or gradual the rest of the way. So it was during this run that we were talking about Amanda competing in a half Iron Man this fall. This is when the subject of "Just to see" came up. Which is this nefarious answer to the question which sometimes you ask yourself. "Why am I wanting to do this" It may range anywhere betweeen an internally whispered dialoge or all the way to an external exclamation in rage, "why am I doing this?"

The nefarious answer is: "Just to see" if I can do it.

What? Oh okay.

Now wait a second. When you think a little farther along that question you begin to comtemplate the horrible truth. This leads to much self doubt about if you love yourself or not because the idea you would accept that answer so readliy is proof you need therapy.

Nefarious defined is "utterly immoral or wicked" for us here in this rant it is enough to say NOT GOOD.

"Just to see" If I can do the race leads to much suffering and toil.

Think if we used same logic with what we eat? "I am not sure if this plant will make me puke or give me frequent and excessive discharging of the bowels producing thin watery feces, usually as a symptom of gastrointestinal upset or infection." But I am going to eat it "Just to see". Would our friends really let us continue on that path? The next time you are hanging out with people whom you consider your friends ask them "just to see" if they would punch you in the neck because you want to find out if you can take a punch like that and still breath normally? I mean is that not the same thing as someone saying I am going to do a half Iron Man "just to see" if I can. Consider for a moment if you can't do the event. Your bound for a nefarious destination then. At the bottom of a lake? , or on the side of the road in a ditch mangled together with a heap of metal? Or stumbling and blithering along like an idiot savant on the side of a highway somewhere reminding people why it is not safe to pick up hitchhikers.

Ask me again why I am doing the Triathlon and I will smile and say "Just to See"

Day of Recovery

So I read my last post and it didn’t make sense to me so I am pretty sure it would not make a lot of sense to anyone else reading it. What happens is I sometimes think a thought and half write it out and half think it when another thought comes along and like a derailed freight train the first thought is gone while the second goes on and on (like my sentences). That is not bad grammar it is my unique literary style.


The point I was saying about mental change in strategy is that when I started I could do something every day; or 6 out of 7 days. That is okay when you are walking stairs for 45 minutes. Or if you run 1 mile. Or swim for 25 minutes. At the time it was more a need to build momentum so my body not used to being “in motion” would stay “in motion”.

Losing that momentum is much less of a risk now. Now that my something’s have grown to a run of 5-10 miles, or a bike of 20 miles and or a swim of a mile and a half, I need to re-think the schedule so I don’t “over train” and injure myself. As more experienced people than me have informed me that “over training” causes a lot of injuries and most novices do not allow enough rest time for their bodies to recover. This seems like it would be easy but I am finding it is not. With the Triathlon only 40 days away and looming I am desperately trying to be as ready as I can be.

Wow 40 days left means I have been in training for 325 days so far. Sheeze that’s a lot.

Today I am resting because my back is sore and I want to be gentle on myself. Actually I would like to train but I need to be patient and let my body recover. It is harder to be patient now that I can do more exercise, but I will work on it. I did really get a lot out of the open water swim clinic the Masters swimmers put on last Sunday. I was able to get a little practice swimming in a group and sighting and some other tips. South Whidbey is a great community and a great place to train with the trails and roads and lakes all around. This adventure started being attractive to me when I saw how much of the a community event the Triathlon was last year. I was standing at the finish line waiting for my incredible wife when something hard hit me in the head, then I was rubbing my head seeing stars and watching her finish when a thought came to me….wait a second……. He he he
Have a great day.

Todays motivational music selection “Momma said Knock you Out” LL Cool J.

My magic number is 26 minutes

Saturday (6/26) Amanda and I did a Brick which started with the Bike route on the Triathlon. I had not done it before and so I had no time to base my level on. Now I do and the time is One hour and 26 minutes. Meaning to make my goal I need to reduce my ride time by 26 minutes. If I can do that then I can get my Bike to be only and hour. I am going to need to work hard on the bike to make that much up. The hill on a Saratoga is a like a solid punch in the chest. No way to deflect it just have to meet and tackle it head on. Amanada calls it the BEAST and I would say that is a good name for it.

So after the bike we did a run around Goss lake which has no flat spots. Despite the hills I felt good and I used the short run to try out my new Nike 3.0 shoes. They are Wolf Grey so my shoes run faster than yours. I don't run faster but my shoes do. That is about as stupid as the "My kid did blah blah blah" bumper stickers. I am going to make one up for later in life when I can boast " My kid moved out last week and he is a fully functional well adjusted contributing to society and happy human being". That us worth bragging about.
People nowadays don't even know how to brag right. It used to be "American made = the best", but that was when we did make shit that was the best. Cars and houses that lasted. National Parks and sky scrapers that had quality to them. The inbreds today just say "America is the BEST" and expect it to be true because they say it. Sorry but it doens't work like that.

Enough ranting.
My mental strategy is evolving as the days get shorter. I am starting to get ahead of my body and want times and training amounts more than I can physically do. This weekend is a good example, I was going to rest after the 16.5 miles trail run last week. That turned into a Brick on Saturday and a mile and half swim in Goss lake on Sunday. I feel tired and sore but it is a good sore.

More later and today's song is going to be. "O O Child things are gonna get easier" sorry don't know the name of that . I am also grateful the people on South Whidbey are so generous and nice people to share their experiences and knowledge.

44 days to go

I only have 44 days to go and while I am technically still on a rest week I did go swimming yesterday. Today I am a little sore but overall I think I will be back in full training next week.

In my swim yesterday I did a half mile in 21 minutes. I need to shave 3 minutes off that.

Then I need to complete the ride in 1 hour (which so far nobody believes I can do). I am not sure how much work this will be because I have never done that ride before. So I need to test that out by doing the ride and seeing how long it takes me to complete it soon.

Also I will need to improve my running to where I can do a 10 minutes mile because right now I am at 11:30. This I expect may improve as I quit focusing on running so far and I work on running the miles faster. I also need to practice running after getting off the bike.

My Triathlon goals are;
1. injury free
2. finish the event
3. complete it in 2 hours.
4. Be asked to speak about my life at some graduation and get paid $578,000.00 in one lump sum the same week as the Triathlon.

So the 4th one I threw in for the Universe to grant it too me when it has nothing else to do. Sort of some light work for my Higher Power.

Anyway I am still basking in my good feelings about last weekends 16,7 mile run. The unofficial results came out today and I made the list. I am 7th from the bottom which is better than I expected. I thought I would be 4th from the bottom.

I am tired of training and I look forwad thinking it will be nice to have the mental break after August 8th when I can not "think"about the next event.

In the betweeen time I need to work on strengthening my core. Sounds like situps are in my future. I hate situps but I don't know a better way to strengthen my core muscles. I have tried pullin....No just klidding I can't go there; and it doesn't help core muscles anyway, or so I have read. I will have to use my "Tower of Power" home gym thingamabobby that I picked up at a garage sale 4 years ago. IT is a frame that allows you to do pull ups and dips and other crap that makes you POWERFUL. I want to be POWERFUL if it will help me run faster, especially fast enough to run a 10 minute mile. It has been in the Garage for 3 years so I think it has had time to aclimate to my house. Now I will actually get the $10.00 out of it that I put into it. I have to move the treadmill out onto the lawn to make room but no matter. Having a treadmill on the lawn is not that different from a refrigirator, or a 78 Oldsmobile. Whidbey has it fair share of those growing weeds.

On deck for this weekend is an Outdoor Swim Clinic put on by Whidbey Parks and Rec where they teach people how to swim in groups, swim around bouys (I think I might be able to handle that one), sight using the horizon and determine distance in the Open water. It is cool we have such good resources on Whidbey Island.


Take Care my faithful 13 and I will talk too you next week.