I was thinking on the train the other day about self realization. These transformation from Couch Potato to Triathlete have brought to my mind many self realizaions.
Things like, "I can run more than a mile!" ; "I can swim 10 laps in the pool!"
"I can get shin splints!", "I can make my nipples bleed!",
"I can run for two and half hours straight!" "I can swim across the lake!"
"I can chafe my crotch so bad I walk like a cowboy!"
"I can ride the Saratoga hill, twice!", "I can learn to run and swim!"
One of my first self realizations I can remember is when I became honest with myself about what I look like when I chew gum. The cold direct self honesty of admitting "I don't chew pretty" and I wish I could was a freeing experience.
So when you are chawing on a peice of gum and you think you look like the "Ice Man" in Top Gun all cool and sure of yourself; but in reality you look like a crotchety old grandpa with some over done pot roast stuck in his dentures. That is the part of self realizing that is not so fun.
Damn I really wanted to look cool doing that! Okay,
Another form of self realizing is when you go for a run on the beach for 5 miles and admit that is was sort of "eh, not all that".
"I actually prefer running the trails in the woods somewhere". Saturday we were on vacation on the Oregon coast and so I went out for an hour run on the pristine beach. The setting doesn't get much closer to picture perfect (well with a reduction of the 20 mile hour head wind it would be perfect). Sun is out with a BREEZE (15 - 20 mph) at my back, the emerald ocean waves breaking on my right, two story sand dunes on my left and no one but the tampax lady running at me. I (dodge Ms. T. with my swim move) and begin my run staying on the hard packed sand because I am not trying to regain my heavy weight title. I am not Rocky and I don't have an Apollo creed to help me get back my eye of the tiger. Anyway I am running and while it is kind of nice to have a completely flat path with no visible obstructions as far as the eye can see it is also sort of boring. I sort of feel like I should be going "Ah" or having some magical self realization as I run this beatiful beach. "Nope" didn't happen for me. All I got was an up close and personnel visit from some ones great Dane.
Nothing like a big wet slobbery Great Dane lopping towards you with no where to run to help facilitate self realizations.
I did appreciate being alive after the great dane mouthed me a little and decided I was not his chew toy. His owner smiled and says "He doesn't bite". I thought to myself "Great. Does he Trample?" Those dogs are big and if the just wanted to jump and play over the top of you for a while you would feel it the next day.
So I realized I prefer running in the trails of the woods over running on the picturesque beach. As I turned around and ran into the BREEZE I appreciated it more and more. It was hard to tell how hard I was working becuase all the sweat just blew away and it seemed like I was barely moving across the picture. I did enjoy the run but not as much as I expected too.
I think I also realize I don't run pretty either. Some runners look all natural and effortless and smooth as the cruise down the road, trail, or beach, and then there are others who...well not so much. I belong to the not so much group. I think it is safe to say most people would probably categorize me as "He don't bike pretty or swim pretty either". At least not as smooth and cool as I think I look when I am doing these things. That's okay if in my internal camera inside my head I look cooler or sleeker or faster than I actually am.
It just might be that self delusion of how I think I look that keeps me going long enough to finish. So in my head watching me for you is like watching Michael Phelps transform into Lance Armstrong into the Usain Bolt,(You know the olympic sprinter) well I don't know any famous distance runners (note to self: examine this concept more later).
Some self delusion is good for the soul. It may be that self deulsion is all we have left to hold onto when we are out there trying to swim across a lake or peddle up the final hill or run the last mile.
Self delusion has been used many times for the positive in the history of me and the history of everybody.
Self delusion may be just the concept that we all depend upon to complete these crazy transformations. Start with a large mouth, insert leg, chew vigorously for 9 minutes or until soft. Add a couple pinches of Self realization mixed with two cupfulls of self delusion and a pound of desire. Simmer on med high for 364 days. Remove from heat, garnish with a wetsuit, swim cap, a road bike and some colorfull running shoe laces.
It may be that Batman is just a man with an over active sense of self delusion.
Don't judege me if I am wearing a Batman cape and Superman under roos on race day. Just smile and nod your head in understanding that I am out smarting myself.
Today's song is "The Grand Illusion" by Styx
Welcome to the Grand illusion
Come on in and see what's happening
Pay the price, get your tickets for the show
The stage is set, the band starts playing
Suddenly your heart is pounding
Wishing secretly you were a star.
But don't be fooled by the radio
The TV or the magazines
They show you photographs of how your life should be
But they're just someone else's fantasy
So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because you never win the game
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...
So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because your neighbors got it made
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...
America spells competition, join us in our blind ambition
Get yourself a brand new motor car
Someday soon we'll stop to ponder what on Earth's this spell we're under
We made the grade and still we wonder who the hell we are.
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